Monday, 4 March 2013

SOL: 4.3.12

Writing a slice of my life...smells

Clanking of the keys as I walk past the boys loo
My nostrils squeeze blocking out the stench
The smell assaults me like screaming animals in the zoo
My head is a spinning wrench

Emails I send to those concerned about this crisis
No reply is sent in return
Shaking my head in disbelief therefore I should shake off my niceness
I send in my comrade to explore and she comes out and understands my scorn

Who is to blame for this outrage
Looking left and looking right
My annoyance switch is off the gauge
My concern is for the health of my students therefore I must fight

My comrade takes up my cause
She takes a bow and receives the applause

Every morning on my daily rounds I open the toilet doors to the boys and girls toilets.  Today is no different and my dread is no different.  But the boys toilet is almost always smelly.  It was only the other day that I gave my boys a lesson in how to pee into the toilet bowl.  I must have looked ridiculous because I did a step-by-step break down of what they should do.  I told them how it was like playing a game of soccer or playing rugby.  Your aim is important.  When you play soccer you've got to aim correctly to get the ball into the goal.  And, peeing into the toilet bowl is just the same!  You have to get your AIM right!  For goodness sake!

Once, I was crazy enough one day to take to the boys toilet with the fire hose.  I know it was crazy but the smell was disgusting.  You must be wondering, yes, there is a cleaner but she swears black and blue that she can't get the smell out.  We have a wishlist that we fill out each year and you guessed it!  On my wishlist was, could we please have our toilets cleaned properly!

We had a bit of a rough start this year and unfortunately I had to complain.  But things are on the improve.

The fear hasn't gone away as I do my daily routine of opening the toilet doors.


  1. Not exactly a celebration of the senses Christina, but none the less an accurate depiction of unforgettable aromas. I recall the sign, 'Our aim is to keep this toilet clean, your aim will help.' Your piece brought back memories of my former role as an administrator. Summer days lifted the 'smellometer' off the scale. Your piece is written with both humour and honesty.

  2. Your poem is great! So accurately depicted. "The smell assaults me like screaming animals in the zoo," really puts power into your description. I had to laugh as you described the lecture to the boys on how to pee.

  3. So funny! I think our middle school boys could learn a lesson or two from you!